Instead, I really wanted to understand his perspective. I didn’t defend the voice message I had left. "I really appreciated you calling me the other day and leaving me a voicemail. But when you said you were ‘calling all of your friends of color to see how they are doing’ I was taken aback. I thought I was your friend, not a friend that is in some folder on your desk marked black friends ". I couldn’t imagine what he was about to share with me. " I have to tell you this because we’ve known each other a long time and I value our friendship." "One more thing before we hang-up," he said. We updated each other on our kids, shared Covid-19 impacts and discussed the latest act of racism and the ensuing protests to end police brutality. The next day I was delighted when my friend’s name popped on my phone. "I'm calling you and all of my friends and colleagues of color to check-in and see how you are doing." That was the voicemail I left for a client-turned-friend to see how he was doing. I hadn’t rehearsed what I was going to say. I was just calling to check-in on a friend like I had with the co-author of this series on race, Gina Greenlee.
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